The Darkness Of My Soul
by Penelope Dream Weaver
Summary: It was time she left, time to end it all, She was no longer needed. That's what Kagome Thought as she jumped off the cliff. would some one save her, was there any one who could bring her back from the precipice of the end?
1. Chapter 1

If you love me, then let go, I won't be held down by who I used to be.

-Evanescence, The Open Door, Weight Of The World.

Chapter One

"Weight Of The World"

The day had finally come, Kagome looked around her, she saw nothing but the bare face of the cliff and the trees far far below her. As she stood on the edge of the cliff, the precipice of the end, she knew that this was it. She had been broken too many times to rebuild, used and thrown away like so much Kleenex.

No longer was she needed she had lost the only one she had loved, well the only man she had loved. She knew he had felt something for her but the feelings he had for her former incarnation were much stronger than the ones he felt now. They cared she knew but she was in the way, just a fence in the way of the rest of their lives.

No tears left, her eyes had been dry for days now, she knew she was just in the way of InuYasha and Kikyo being together now that Naraku was dead. She had no use for her soul any more, Kikyo could have it now, after all Kagome was only borrowing it for a while, she was only a reincarnation, a cheep imperfect copy of the original.

She had seen them together again, Kagome didn't hate Kikyo, in fact she admired the girl and wished them both all the happiness in the world. Kagome knew that, now that she was trapped here in the feudal era that she couldn't go on being there for InuYasha, being his best friend all the while knowing that she would never know his love, never know his kiss or any other intimate touch. She would have known had Kikyo not been resurrected, she could not fault her for what had happened, but she could fault her self for feeling the way she did. Now that Naraku was dead, Kikyo and InuYasha had been seeing more and more of each other and it hurt Kagome's heart too much to know she was just in the way of them being together. Perhaps with the rest of the soul she possessed it would allow her to become more than clay and graveyard soil.

She wasn't needed any more her usefulness had long since past and now it was time to end it. Looking down the edge of the cliff, she didn't really see the edge or the bottom, she had given up, on everything, she felt numb. As she leapt off the cliff, her life flashing before her, everything she had experienced to that point when she jumped off the cliff.

_Her mom singing her back to sleep after a nightmare._

_"It's okay Kagome, go back to sleep, I'll be here for you" Natsumi Higarashi said in her quiet voice understanding voice._

_"But mommy, I'm too scared" a six year old Kagome whined._

_"It's okay sweetie, shhh, tell you what I'll sing you one more song, okay?"_

_"Okay" little Kagome sniffled._

_"Somewhere there's a river Looking for a stream_

_ Somewhere there's a dreamer Looking for a dream_

_ Somewhere there's a drifter Trying to find his way _

_Somewhere someone's waiting To hear somebody say_

_ I believe in you _

_I can't even count the ways that I believe in you _

_And all I want to do is help you to Believe in you"_

The feeling of the wind pushing up against her was incredible as she fell the hundreds of feet into the void.

Her fifteenth birthday flashed before her, the day she was pulled into the well.

_"Give me the the Shikon No Tama" hissed Mistress Centipede "I know you have it" _

_"'STOP" Kagome yelled as light shot from her hand before she fell to the bottom of the well._

_Climbing out of the well, finding nothing but trees around the well instead of the old well house. Wandering further away from the well until the Goshinboku tree came into view. _

_"Is that...a boy" she said looking up at the red clad boy covered in tree vines his silver hair glistening in the dappled sunlight, an arrow protruding from his chest._

_Climbing up the roots, she got a closer "Are those...dog ears?"_

_The wind rushing past her ears made her deaf to the sounds of the wild life and other noises in the forest._

_"Say the word of subjugation, child" Kaede yelled at her as she ran with the Shikon jewel. _

_"Word of subjugation?" Then it hit her._

_"SIT BOY" She screamed._

The images came faster and faster as she fell, all of them leading to the moment she was in now everything pushing against her numbness. It would be five hundred years until she would be born to repeat all this, but she wouldn't be here for it. It was enough to know she had impacted so many lives, to know she rid this time of one of the most disgusting hanyou's the world had ever seen. She had lived the life destined for her and this was her end, her time to die, she felt at peace as the ground came up closer and closer.

Closing her eyes she before she hit the ground she saw silver white flash and everything went black.

SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSK

Looking up from the letter that he had found lying on the floor near the fire pit, a place where he wouldn't fail to notice it. Miroku read the letter again unable to believe the words written. It just couldn't be, there was no way he could allow himself to belive that a dear friend would leave like this, especially her. Finally looking at Sango whom was sitting just across the fire staring at him strangely.

"What is it, Miroku?" she asked a odd look crossing his features.

"We have to find InuYasha" He said standing up quickly.

"Why? Miroku, what's going on?" Sango demanded, standing as well.

"It's Kagome, we have to find her"

"Miroku, what's going on, damn it just tell me"

"Kagome is in serious danger" he said.

"From who"

"Her self" Miroku said dashing out the door, Sango following at his heals.

He couldn't' believe that Kagome of all people would try to leave this world in such a way. She wasn't in the way she wasn't a burden, she was their light in the darkness. She was the salve on the wounds that they all carried, he didn't know how she could think otherwise. They all needed her, InuYasha needed her, Sango needed her, Shippo and even him self, they all needed her. Kagome was the sister that all of them never had, she was family, and one thing Miroku knew was that one did not abandon their family.

He could understand how she felt, there was too many times he thought about just letting his wind tunnel suck him in allowing his death to happen. It wasn't until after he had met her then Sango after that he realized he had too much to live for, now instead of dying he had been saved by her and because of Sango he had something to live for and soon a family to protect. Now that he and Sango were married he would have everything he desired, but not if they couldn't find her in time. Miroku's heart clenched at the thought of loosing Kagome, ever since he met her he could not imagine his life with out her in it, she was family and he would do what it took to keep her safe and happy.

SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSK

The journey from the western lands to the village of Edo, was a journey that Sesshomaru decided to make alone. He was in debt to a certain miko and he would not tolerate a life boon to InuYasha's wench. It had been two months since the defeat of Naraku and she still had not demanded anything in return for saving his life during the battle.

There had been too much going on he had let his guard down for a split second when the evil hanyou had grabbed Rin. His heart had stopped for a split second and that second he had been impaled by a overly large tentacle. The appendage had taken his heart and for a moment before Kagome had ran to him, he knew he was dead dying, and wondering why he had allowed him self to drop his guard. She was just a human a human who would have died eventually why did he care, but he did some where deep down in his cold uncaring heart he did care for the girl.

Naraku had left him for dead and turned to fight off one of InuYasha's attacks dropping Rin who quickly found another hiding place. When the girl had come to him, she had leaned in close breathing so close to his ear she whispered something and then suddenly he was whole again his body fully restored. Sesshomaru knew that she had saved his life and now he owed her a life boon. Until such a time as he could repay the favor he would be in her debt and he hated being in anyones debt.

The forest was quiet even the birds had stopped there singing, which was a bad sign, the forest it self held its breath. Then the scent of blood hit him the sickeningly sweet feeling of recognition in the smell, stirred something inside him that he dared not look too closely at.

Nearing the edge of the cliff Sesshomaru looked down at the bottom, then he looked up at the much higher cliffs above knowing that she had fallen from far above him. The scent of death clung to the chasm below. Jumping down he knew whom had fallen from these cliffs the scent of her was everywhere, he just hoped it wasn't too late to bring her back.

AN: Okay Just so every one knows I do not condone suicide.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**"Do You Know Me?"**

**He had been sitting in a tree, for hours it seemed and now he was deep in thought. His mind drifted over the events of the morning, of Kikyo saying good by to him before she drifted in to the forest. The clay miko had finally let him go, let him live. No longer did she want him to go with her to hell she wanted him to live a full life with the woman he truly loved. He remembered her word from the morning.**

_**"InuYasha, It's time" she had said looking at him eyes full of sorrow.**_

_**"I'm ready Kikyo" he sighed looking down at the ground wishing he could have said good bye to his companions, to Kagome.**_

_**"No, InuYasha your not, you have too much to live for, too much to go with me"**_

_**"What, No...Kikyo" he said rushing to her and grasping her arms forcing her to look into his eyes. **_

_**"My time on this earth is short InuYasha, other souls can not sustain me any longer" leaning up to him Kikyo kissed him lightly on his lips the hanyou pulled her closer. **_

_**Pulling back the clay miko stepped away from him, gazing longingly. **_

_**"InuYasha, I forgive you" she said before disappearing into the forest.**_

**He knew now that she wasn't going to come back to him she had left to spend her last days by her self. This had him quite depressed, he didn't want her to be on her own during that time. He wanted to make sure her last hours were pleasant. Though he did feel guilty for ignoring his companions until Kikyo passed for good he didn't really want to see them. As selfish as this was he couldn't help it she was his first love and as much as he cared for Kagome, Kikyo would always come first.**

**Now however as he heard the rapid approach of two of his friends, InuYasha sighed, he really didn't want to be disturbed. Miroku was frantically calling his name and Sango was begging Miroku to tell her what about some note had scared him so much.**

**"InuYasha" Miroku yelled "We do not have time for your sulking, we have to find Kagome, and we have to find her now" His voice was deadly serious.**

**Jumping down from the Goshinboku tree InuYasha looked at the former monk though still donning his robes. He him self as always, in his fire rat robes, tetsusaiga at his hip and a scowl on his face. **

**"What is it houshi?" he grumbled not impressed that he allowed the monk to easily irritate him.**

**"We do not have time for whys we have to find Kagome and your the only one we have with a nose that can find her" **

**"Feh, like she needs to be found" **

**"InuYasha" Miroku said taking the hanyou by the collar of his robes and pulling him close "If you don't help us find her by the time we get to her she will already be dead" He gritted out from clenched teeth.**

**InuYasha's eyes widened as he pulled away from the monk, Sango with an equally incredulous look on her face.**

**"What do you mean Miroku?" Sango asked panic entering her voice as her grip on Hiraikotsu tightened.**

**Ignoring his wife's plea Miroku stared down InuYasha almost daring him to tell them that he didn't care if Kagome lived or died. He watched as InuYasha closed his eyes his white hair tossing slightly in the breeze as he concentrated on the scent of Kagome.**

**Catching it he turned in that direction and started running, Miroku and Sango close on his heels. **

**SKSKSKSKSKSKSK**

**Jumping off the lower cliff to the gory scene below, Sesshomaru watched as the puddle of blood grew. Looking at the mass of black hair that framed Kagome's pale face eyes closed long dark lashes resting on her cheeks her lips slightly parted. She was beautiful but for the fact that she was dead, tenseiga did not pulse after he drew it from it's sheath, he did not see the messengers of the dead, it was too late. **

**It impugned his honor that he could not pay his life debt and damned if he was going to give it to one of her former companions. He journeyed all this way and she goes and dies on him, how could she have been so stupid to have allowed some one to kill her. He stopped and thought about that one. Sniffing the air past her smell, past the scent of death, he scented no one else, only her. Why would she kill her self? that was an odd question but why would she there was no reason to...he paused in his leaving something in the air catching his attention. Turning back around he watched as the body healed it self, he could hear her heart start to beat then her sudden intake of breath. **

**Walking back over to her, Sesshomaru turned her over with one foot and watched as life returned to her body, this was impossible she was human. As far as he knew humans couldn't do that and Kagome was defiantly human.**

**Her eyes fluttered open and she saw who was standing over her, Kagome's eyes flashed in depressed anger.**

**"Why did you bring me back" she whispered out harshly as she tried to sit up.**

**"This Sesshomaru has done nothing to aid your recovery" he said watching as she tried to stand. **

**All she got out was a grunt as she got to her feet, turning she stumbled away from the taiyoukai.**

**"Don't follow me" she said quietly before she fell to the ground unconscious.**

**Sesshomaru looked at the girl lying on the ground and allowed himself a rare sigh. She didn't have the strength to move let alone walk away from him.**

**"This Sesshomaru still owes you a life boon and will make sure that you come to no harm" he said to her before picking up her bloody body and hitching her over one shoulder. He didn't know why she had wanted to kill her self, why she had felt the need. But he was going to find out and once his questions were answered to his satisfaction he would return her to her companions and his idiot of a half brother. Though the matter of the life boon still needed to be taken care of he would deal with that once she was awake.**

**Something told him he wasn't going to like what he was going to hear, every time he had seen her she had always been feisty and fiery and always caring. Never had he seen her like this, that blank despondency in her eyes made him think of dark inescapable cave, her aura was now almost non existent. All this worried him though he didn't want to explore his reasons for this worry. **

**Walking back into the forest Sesshomaru decided to take a longer way to the village so that he could question the girl. He wanted to know what happened to drive her off the edge of that cliff. **

**SKSKSKSKSKSK**

**She was panicking, driven in her desperation to find Kagome. Sango astride Kirara with her husband holding her around the waist. After finally wresting from Miroku the letter Kagome had left and read it, she couldn't believe that Kagome could, would end her life. Couldn't Kagome see how much she was needed, how much Sango needed that sister's bond, how much her smiles and laughter lit up the room or area when she was around. **

**They had to find her and soon, Sango didn't know if she would be able to carry on should Kagome actually be...No she couldn't finish that though she would break down if she did and if there was going to be a battle ahead for what ever reason, she couldn't fight being so emotional.**

**Watching the hanyou below as he ran, jumped, and flew through the forest below. She knew that he was worried about their friend but there was something different. It wasn't the frantic worry that she and Miroku felt. This was a detached sense of obligation, as if he was just searching because he had to. Kagome had been the best friend turned family any of them ever had and she was not going to loose Kagome because InuYasha was an ass. As much as she like the boy it just wasn't going to happen, she would not allow him to hurt Kagome any more than he already had in the last three years.**

**SKSKSKSKSKSK**

**Opening her eyes to the forest clearing, the interwoven canopy of the trees blocking out most of the sunlight. The verdant green of the area drowning out the sun, the sound of the small creek nearby singing in harmony with the birds that sat high in the branches of the trees. **

**Kagome hurt all over, what had happened to her and how did she get here? sitting up quickly she gasped. Where was here? how...looking down at her once very pretty blue and pink kimono now covered in blood, the material crusted around the edges where the blood had dried. Oh god, what had happened? why was she covered in blood? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? her mind screamed, she couldn't remember.**

**Slowly getting to her feet her back pressed against the rough bark of the tree she took a better look around. The clearing looked as any other with the exception of a small hot spring near by. **

**The spring looked so inviting and being covered in blood, it would be a good idea to bathe and wash her cloths. Being she was alone she made her way to the steaming water. Kagome quickly undid the ties holding the heavy silk to her body, sliding into the water and scrubbing her self clean. **

**Doing her best, Kagome succeeded in getting most of the blood out of the material, however it was still heavily stained. Quickly getting out of the water to hang the silk to dry on a near by tree before settling back into the pool of water to soak the soreness out of her muscles. **

**She didn't know how she had come to be here in this forest with a bloody kimono, no shoes and no supplies. Something had to have happened, what for sure she couldn't say, she didn't know and this disturbed her greatly. **

**Ringing out her hair Kagome ripped a long piece of fabric off the hem of the kimono then tied her long ebony locks up in a bun. Not knowing what else to do she got dressed and decided to leave the clearing before something else happened. **

**A frantic rustling in the trees followed by heavy foot steps, caught her attention, before she could take two steps three rather burly looking bandits burst into the clearing. Judging by the way they were dressed they were really poor bandits. **

**"Ya think we lost 'em?" asked the short pudgy one with long hair.**

**"Yeah, I think so, Yuka will be pleased with us today" the tall one wearing green said shifting his feet.**

**"Yuka's a hard ass bastard but he's gives a fair price"**

**"Uh, guys, we got us some company" the skinny one in red said getting the attention of his companions.**

**A sudden fear gripped Kagome's chest, they had seen her at the edge of the clearing and all three of them were coming closer.**

**"Well well, well, looks like were going to have a bit of fun before we go and see Yuka" the pudgy one said his face twisting into a mask of sick lust.**

**Turning to run she made it three steps before the tall one caught her. Kicking and screaming she fought against his hold but to no avail, he was just too strong for her.**

**"I don't think so girl, were going to have a little fun with you" She screamed a loud piercing scream when he painfully grabbed her breast. **

**Closing her eyes she stifled the sobs that threatened to tear her apart. When she was suddenly shoved to the ground. Curling into a tiny ball hopping that it would be over soon but nothing ever came. Slowly opening her eyes before uncurling and pushing her self into a sitting position she stared in awe and fear at the tall man, no he was no man with those facial markings defiantly a demon. Long silver white hair graced his head, framing his pale face and the dark blue crescent moon on his fore head, his cheeks graced with a two lighter almost purple stripes. His attire formed to his body with perfection, the shiny armour cupping his broad chest and accented by the two swords at his hip.**

**Golden eyes stared at into her as the demon approached, flinching as he dropped a bag and bow and quiver at her feet.**

**"Change miko, I will return you to your companions"**

**"Who are you?" Kagome asked than thinking about it for a moment, she was confused, this demon acted as if he knew her.**

**"Actually I have a better question, who am I" **


	3. Did I forget Something?

AN: okay sorry ever one that this took me forever but I have to be in the mood to write in a kind of depressing way, but any way here's chapter three. enjoy.

Chapter 3

"Did I forget something?"

SKSKSKSK

"Do not play games with me Miko"

"Games?" she said confused "I'm not playing games" Standing she looked around to find the three bandits whom had accosted her, in a bloody heap in the far corner of the clearing.

"Who are you" she whispered one hand shaking as she brought it to her face, her eyes looking at the inu lord as she slowly backed away.

"Do not insult me, you know very well who I am, I will not play these games with you, now change out of that bloody kimono in to something clean and I shall return you to your companions"

Tears were streaming down her face, she didn't know what to do, all her senses were screaming at her that he was a demon and that she should run but he seemed to know who she was and thats what made her pause.

"Um…I know you think I'm playing games with you" she said quietly "But could you please tell me who I am?" Her head was bowed in an act of submission.

The Inu Lord looked down at her, he could scent her honesty he knew she was telling the truth she really didn't know who she was, she didn't know who he was; if he was any other demon he would consider the situation advantageous. It was beneath him to have to tell her who he was, it was beneath him to tell her about herself, it was beneath him to help a human. However he owed a life boon to this human and that was more important than anything else because he hated being in debt to anyone be it demon or human.

"Very well miko, I shall be brief"

"You're going to help me?"

"I owe you a life boon" he said as if that explained it all.

"Uhhh... Okay" She was confused, why would some one like him owe her a life boon.

"Your name is Kagome" He said his baritone echoing through the clearing.

"You have traveled with a rag tag group consisting of a demon slayer, a monk, a hanyou, and a fox kit, for the past three years, two months ago you assisted them as well as my self in the defeat of the hanyou Naraku" that was all he knew in a nut shell and damned if he was going to explain any more.

"Oh" was all she said; she was silent for a long moment after his brief speech.

"Change, Miko and I will return you to your friends"

She looked down at the box, crouching and carefully lifting the lid, Kagome looked down at the beautiful kimono. Dark blue with white cherry blossoms floating across it, the obi blending in with the design.

Silk, she thought, it was silk and from the looks it was very expensive she knew and she wasn't quite sure if such a thing was actually meant for her and doubted the fact that a demon lord would provide it for her.

"My patience wears thin miko"

Sliding behind a rather large tree Kagome put the new kimono on, it fit her perfectly hugging every curve, giving her already womanly body a little help. Picking up the satchel and bow and quiver after slipping on a pair of slipper like shoes she came out from behind the tree; feeling the inu lords eyes upon her heat rushed to her cheeks, it was the look in his eyes there was something there for a brief moment then it was gone.

Wow things were getting weird she just didn't know what to do she didn't know who she was and it was rather disconcerting considering that a demon lord knew more about her than she did. How was she to know she was a miko, hell how was she to know if he really knew anything about her he could be lying to get her to trust him. She just didn't know should she trust the demon lord, would it help her to find out who she really was or would he kill her.

Not knowing what else to do she turned to the forest and started walking towards the setting sun.

Intrigued Sesshomaru stared after the girl for a moment before following her, it was odd that she would pick such an odd direction in which to travel, seemingly at random, this greatly unnerved the Taiyoukai. What was she up to, he knew that she wasn't lying when it came to her memory loss, but why would she choose to go west what purpose did it serve to head toward his stronghold why not take her in the right direction; to the east back to the village of the bone eaters well. Soon enough he would have the answers he needed, until then he would keep her with him after all he did owe her a life boon.

sksksksksksksksksksksksksksk

They had been traveling for hours and there was still no sign of Kagome they had caught her scent but then it had disappeared soon after finding it. Sango was having getting close to hysterics,though it didn't show however both Miroku and Inuyasha were noticing that the longer it was taking to find the miko the more pissed off Sango became.

"Find her InuYasha, or you will wish you had never been born" Sango hissed gripping the hanyou by the collar of his fire rat haori.

"Sango, my love, I do not think that we should treat InuYasha in such a rough shod manor, we need him to find Kagome, even if he was the one whom had put her in this state of mind to begin with" Miroku stated reasonably.

"Yeah Sango, let me...Hey Monk I DID NOT" he said yanking out of the demon huntresses' hold before turning around "I didn't put her in any state of mind" he said pouting slightly.

"InuYasha, please this is not the time to be assigning blame, we need to find Kagome before she does something stupid. I really don't think that she really wants to die; she's not the kind of person who would take her own life."

The monk had a point Kagome wasn't' the type of person to do that, however she had been acting strange lately very distant to every one including Shippo. InuYasha was starting to wonder if she wasn't under some sort of spell, it could very well be causing her behavior; though it was hard to say for sure.

Miroku's urgency had scared the hanyou, the monk rarely ever used that tone with him and the occasions he had were times when some one's life was in danger. Not knowing what else to do InuYasha turned his nose to the wind, they needed to find Kagome it was time he let go of who he was and become a man.

He had been self centered for so long InuYasha wasn't sure if he could be mature though he would try; and trying meant letting go of Kikyo releasing her memory from his heart and allow the gaping hole there to heal. There had been many times where the healing had begun under Kagome's gentle love only to be ripped open again when the clay miko came around again. He regretted his actions when it came to Kagome, he had loved her; he still did and now he wondered if it was too late to set things right between them.

Sango's anger, the monks sarcasm was putting the hanyou in to a panic he really didn't think that Kagome would kill herself; and that's when he scented it.

InuYasha's eyes narrowed as he drew tetsusaiga.

"What is it InuYasha?" Miroku inquired his violet eyes almost piercing the hanyou.

"I smell blood, a lot of it" InuYasha growled out.

"Blood? who's" Sango asked her stomach curling in knots proclaiming her uneasiness.

"Kagome's" whispered the hanyou.

SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSk

_Some where there's a river lookin for a stream_

_some where's there's a dreamer looking for a dream_

_somewhere there's a drifter trying to find his way_

_somewhere some ones' waiting to hear some body say _

_I believe in you _

"Did you hear that?" Kagome asked the demon lord beside her.

"Hear what? miko, the forest is silent but for the sound of small animals and the movement of our selves"

"A women, I heard a women singing"

"Not only did you loose your memory, miko but you are also going senile as well"

"Hmmm, I could have sworn" she muttered to her self keeping step beside the Taiyoukai.


End file.
